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四六级写作典型错误分析
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英语四级作文题目: "Women in the Modern World"

英语四级作文提纲:

1. Women are playing an increasingly1 important part in society today.________

2. With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. ______

3. In spite2 of these changes, the liberation3 of women has not been completely4 realized. __

例1. (2分段)

??Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Long age, women only did something in the kitchen or at home. Now many of them have serious jobs to serve for people. What men can do so can women.

With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. Today in the family, the wife often lots her husband to do something at home bat ago, only women did something. Men are foned of doing something at home.

??In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened. In the factory the wonmen to as much as the men, but they are paid less than the men. Some people have not completely realized the liberation of women.

东方教育点评:条理不清,思路紊乱,大部分句子均有错误,有的甚至影响理解。具体问题剖析如下:

(1)缺乏逻辑,东一句西一句,没有围绕中心论述,如第一段就没有展开论述妇女社会角色的转变,说得太笼统而缺乏说服力。

(2)用汉语思维,句子有明显的汉语痕迹,如"What men can do so can women.",应改为"Women can do what men can do"。

(3)衔接不自然,没有用适当的关联词,如"Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened",应改为"The case that husband hits his wife often happens. "

(4)拼写错误很多,大部分句子均有错误。

例2.(5分段 )

??Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. In today, many women have a work. They worked as well as men playing an important part in factories. There are many women in government also. They lead other people country, and make out plans. There are many scientist slso. They event new things to improve our life.

??With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. In ancient, women's position in family is pity. They had to looks after their children, did every how husband ordered her to do. But now it is changed. They are equal to her husband. They have the right of speaking of idea, discussion5 thing with her husband, do what she wants to do.

In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. We also should realize, women' likerty are limited. For example, many factories want men become its workers but the chance of women is less than men. Everyone should do their best to change this condition. I'm sure, the liberation of women would be increased.

东方教育点评:基本切题。但表达思想不清楚,连贯性差。有较多的严重语言错误。具体问题剖析:

(1)各段围绕中心句论述不深入,没有说服力。

(2)衔接不自然,没有用适当的关联词,如第一段几个句子之间可以用一些"besides"、"on the other hand"、"furthermore"、"in addition"等。

(3)语言错误较多,很多句子不通顺,如"In today, many women have a work."应改为"Today, many women get a job."(滥用介词);"In ancient, women's position in family is pity"中pity应改为pitiful(词形误用)等有多处错误。

例3.(8分段)

??Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Many Women today are playing an important part at works6 that was thought only could be done by the men before. For an example. Some women are not secrtary in the office, instead, they become manager of a company.

??With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. In the world today, more and more women have their own job. They get their own salary, and become more independent from their husband. With the economic situation improved, their family position is improving.

??In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Many husbands only want his wife to stay at home, and do house works or do some shopping. They only want their wife to be a housewife7, but not a manager of a company.

东方教育点评:基本切题。有些地方表达思想不够清楚,文字勉强连贯;语言错误相当多,其中有一些是严重错误。具体问题剖析:

(1)论证不够深入,缺少事例,缺少说服力。

(2)文字缺连贯、且显累赘,如第二段可以把各句再改得简练一点并且有适当的转承词。

(3)语言错误相当多,如"For an example","Some women are not secrtary in the office, instead, they become manager of a company."应改为"Some women are on longer secretaries in the office, instead, they become managers of the companies."(单复数)

例4.(11分段)

??Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. More and more women go to work to earn money instead of keeping the house or looking after the children. Women have entered many fields of society including scientific field. As we know, many women sports teams have won the world's champions such as Chinese women's Volleyball Team.

??With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. Husbands are not the masters of wives in many places. Husbands and wives are equal now. They join together to overcome difficulties8 and share happiness.

??In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Also in some places. Women are considered being "thing" belong to men. They have little chance to find jobs. They don't get equal pay for equal job. This is a problem must be solved not only by society but also by women themselves.

东方教育点评:切题。表达思想清楚,文字连贯,用词比较准确,但有少量语言错误,如"Also in some places. Women are considered being "thing" belong to men",应改为"Also in some places,women are considered being the "things"that belong to men"

例5.(14分段)

??Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. In Many countries, more and more women are acting9 as workers, farmers, scientists and even leaders. We can say that almost all jobs which men can do are done perfectly10 by women. Women are no longer looked down upon by society.

??With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. Husband and wife are now equal in the family. They cope11 with problems of daily life together, and share happiness with each ther. Also, you can hardly find out that in today's families, women are being busy with dinners, whereas12 men comfortably sitting in armchairs, reading newspapers.

??In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. A number of men still jealously13 guard their rights, and regard women as incapable14 creature. Few women are allowed to attend important international meetings dominated15 by men. That's really the problems we should solve immediately.

专家点评:切题。论证充分,有说服力,论证手段丰富(举例、正反)表达思想清楚,语言流畅,词汇丰富,连贯性好。用词准确,仅有个别小错误。

1 increasingly z8ix8

adv.逐渐地,日益地,逐渐增加地

参考例句:

Rivers are being increasingly made use of by man. 河流正在日益为人类所利用。

I find it increasingly difficult to live within my income.我发现靠收入过日子越来越难了。

2 spite uv7wD

n.(用于短语)虽然,不顾,尽管

参考例句:

He has modern ideas in spite of his great age.尽管他年事很高,但思想观念却很入时。

In spite of his anger,his remarks were restrained.他尽管生气,说的话还是有节制的。

3 liberation 61SxI

n.解放,解放运动(为获得平等权利和地位的行为)

参考例句:

We should help those who are still struggling for liberation.我们应当帮助那些仍在为独立而斗争的人们。

Many people died during famines every year before liberation.解放前每年有许多人在饥荒中死亡。

4 completely lvmzzZ

adv.完全地,十分地,全然

参考例句:

She never completely gave up hope.她从不完全放弃希望。

I feel completely in the dark on this question.这件事使我感到茫然。

5 discussion 2PBzj

n.讨论,谈论;论述

参考例句:

It is certain he will come to the discussion.他肯定会来参加讨论。

After months of discussion,a peace agreement is gradually taking shape.经过几个月的商讨,和平协议渐渐有了眉目。

6 works ieuzIh

n.作品,著作;工厂,活动部件,机件

参考例句:

We expect writers to produce more and better works.我们期望作家们写出中国足彩网更好的作品。

The novel is regarded as one of the classic works.这篇小说被公认为是最优秀的作品之一。

7 housewife 7c0xI

n.主妇,家庭主妇

参考例句:

The cleverest housewife can't cook a meal without rice.巧妇难为无米之炊。

She was a housewife of experience.她是一个有经验的主妇。

8 difficulties b11a578a3831f34c2044c055223e93c4

n.困难( difficulty的名词复数 );难度;难事;麻烦

参考例句:

I am acutely aware of the difficulties we face. 我十分清楚我们面临的困难。

the difficulties of English syntax 英语句法的难点

9 acting czRzoc

n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的

参考例句:

Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她,她只是假装的。

During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代,她的表演生涯黯然失色。

10 perfectly 8Mzxb

adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地

参考例句:

The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。

Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

11 cope aZhyU

v.(with)竞争,对抗;对付,妥善处理

参考例句:

He had a lot of work,but he was able to cope.他的活虽多,但还能应付得来。

They have to cope with a mountain of problems.他们得应付成堆的问题。

12 whereas XgQwB

conj.而,却,反之

参考例句:

They want a house,whereas we would rather live in a flat.他们想要一座房子,而我们宁愿住在一套房间里。

Some praise him,whereas others condemn him.有些人赞扬他,而有些人谴责他。

13 jealously DqfzZl

ad.嫉妒的,猜疑的

参考例句:

A number of men still jealously guard their rights. 很多男人仍在谨慎地维护着他们特权。 来自英语晨读30分(高二)

His jealously guarded secret was soon common property. 他小心翼翼保守的秘密很快就成为众所皆知之事。

14 incapable w9ZxK

adj.无能力的,不能做某事的

参考例句:

He would be incapable of committing such a cruel deed.他不会做出这么残忍的事。

Computers are incapable of creative thought.计算机不会创造性地思维。

15 dominated 334b534a2e3ae8d7b66f1cbabd9888b2

受控的 -tive

参考例句:

As a child he was dominated by his father. 他小时候由父亲主宰一切。

His personality dominated over the other members of the committee. 他的人格影响委员会的其他成员。

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